(drained, exhausted, dead.)

24 March 2025 (3;45am)

Hey, I’ve been thinking about these past few weeks and honestly, it was hectic. This year’s Ramadan has been great in its own way but I will always miss the vibes from previous years. I felt so much happier during Ramadan last year or even two or three years ago than what I’m experiencing now.

Lately, I’ve been feeling pretty blurred and even scared of failure sometimes. My friends have been a big help, constantly pushing me to study hard and keep my head up. Even though ive been through the pressure now, i dont know why but i like it like that. I love pressuring myself. I find myself doing homework at 2-4 in the morning and dekat sekolah ngantuk gila probably because I didn’t catch enough sleep but hey, it’s part of the process. Its me and my unhealthy sleeping schedule against the world.

On a spiritual note, praying Taraweeh has been a real healing experience for me. Those quiet moments of prayer help clear my mind and calm the stress that builds up from everything going on. It’s like a little reset button that I can always rely on.

AND ALSO, I can’t stop thinking about Eid! I get a bit stressed over small things like where I’m going to buy my baju raya. The excitement for Eid is real and I’m really happy that next week is the last week of school before the Hari Raya celebrations kick in. It feels like the finish line is in sight, and that thought gives me a little boost to keep pushing through these busy days.

In conclusion, even though this month has brought its share of tiredness and challenges, I know I’ve learned a lot and grown in many ways. Every bit of pressure, every late night and every moment of prayer has helped me become better than I was before. So ok, that’s where I’m at right now—taking it one day at a time with all its ups and downs and always looking forward to a brighter more balanced future. SEE YOU GUYS ON HARI RAYA !!